A Paltry Poultry Recipe

On Sunday, Professor Chaos issued a challenge to me regarding the complexity of my recipes. I replied yesterday with a 1-2 punch of Carne Asada and Arroz con Pollo, issuing in turn a challenge of my own -- to both Professor Chaos and myself.

The good professor has not let me down. And so, true to my word, I ovver the following recipe in return. As promised, it contains a meat of my choice, 1 ingredient from Prof. C's cupboard, one from his fridge (go ahead and drink the beer, sir, it's safe for now).

Oven-Fried Chicken
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 cups italian bread crumbs

Preheat oven to 325 F. Lightly coat chicken breasts with mayonnaise, then coat with bread crumbs. Place on a cookie sheet, bake for 15 minutes. Turn over, continue baking until the coating is golden brown.

Turning "La Mesa"

Thanks for the Memory to Darth Apathy.

In response to the "Day Without Immigrants" that occureed on Pinko de Mayo er... May 1 (heh. Thanks, Vic), someone has come up with a great way to repsond -- "Nothing Mexican Day" -- a day without customers -- on Friday, May 5 (Cinco De Mayo).

Count me in.

Thanks For Asking

For those of you wondering about the status of Culinary School:

I called the coordinator yesterday, since she had told me in March that I should hear by the end of April. One of the two chef instructors who make the decisions on who gets accepted hasn't reviewd the applications yet, so not only do *I* not know if I'm in yet, *THEY* don't know either.

Head, meet desk.

Carne Asada Held Hostage

Thanks for the Memory toDrudge via Mr. Priapus via 1 Girl, 4 Martinis.



My first reaction was anger, fear and panic. No burritos? What a world, what a world. But then I remembered how easily we've assimilated pizza, and now I can sleep at night (except for the gas -- I reallly need to use fewer beans next time).

Oh, Please

Thanks for the Memory to Mr. Atoz at Agent Bedhead's.

In an effort to be more sensitive and politically correct, Sea World in Sydney, Australia has stopped referring to their specimens of the the world's smallest penguins as fairy penguins, opting instead for "Little Penguins".

What's next, the San Diego Zoo renaming their exhibit of black African-American rhinos?

Musical Geography Question for the Day

If you're in the third boxcar of a midnight train, what's your destination?

Who's Your Cheffy?

Professor Chaos has thrown down the gauntlet. He seems to think my recipes are too complex, at least for a bachelor like him.

OK, buddy, you're on. And in keeping with the theme of his recipe, theyre both Mexican dishes:

Carne Asada
1 lb. flank steak
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper or chili powder
2 cloves minced garlic (If you don't have the garlic, ise 1/2 tsp gsarlic powder. If you don't have either, well, beyond wondering what you're doing in the kitchen, all of the dry ingredients can be replaced by a packet of taco seasoning.)
1 lime
1 beer (Any bachelor who tells me there's no beer in his fridge is either a recovering alcoholic, has The Ghey, or is a damned dirty liar.)

Combine all dry ingredients and sprinkle/rub onto flank steak. Squeeze the lime over the steak (yes, yes, a couple squeezes from one of those plastic lime juice bottles will do), cover, and refrigerate overnight. In the morning, add the beer and marinate another 6-8 hours. Sear the steak, cut into 1 inch pieces, and return to heat, cooking until medium well. Serve on tacos with your favorite Mexican condiments.

No? Too complex still? Try this:

Arroz Con Pollo
1 cup rice
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 jar chunky salsa
enough water or chicken broth to increase the volume of the salsa to 2 1/2 cups

Preheat oven to 350 F. Place rice in a glass casserole dish. Set chicken on top of the rice. Pour salsa and liquid over the chicken. Cover, bake for 1-1 1/2 hours, until liquid has evaporated and rice is tender.

And now for the Coup de Grace:
Professor chaos used 2 ingredients other than meat and water in his recipe. I challenge Professor Chaos to list in my comments 10 items each found in his fridge and his pantry/spice cupboard. I'll pick one from each list, combine it with a meat of my choice, and create a recipe. If he responds by 3 PM Thursday afternoon (Pacific Daylight Time), I'll have the recipe ready on Friday.

Sad

Thanks for the Memory to Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

NSFSLM*

*(Not Safe For Saps Like Me)

Sweet

Thanks for the Memory to Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

NSFD*

*(Not Safe For Diabetics)

Talk About Single-Minded

Thanks for the Memory to Darth Apathy.

This is simply amazing. I've read of shots like that being made by snipers who had time to set ther shot up -- but in a reactive situation like this? Wow.

And as was pointed out, given the circumstances, I doubt there'll be any problem establishing that the police fired in self defense.

More Pictures of The Lad

Luke, Give in to the Cute Side. It is... your destiny:

The Closest They'll Come to Meeting This Side of Heaven

While we were in San Diego for my grandmother's funeral, w took The Lad to visit my father's grave at Fort Rosecrans National cemetery. My mother took pictures:









I'll never be ok with the fact that my son will never know my father. But he will know of him, and he will know to honor him.

It's a Start

04/29/2005

04/30/2006

Here's hoping history repeats itself (to a point).

Blogging Hope

Thanks for the Memory to The Llama Butchers.

If you haven't read her before, I second the Llamas' recommendation that you go read Melissa at Here in the Bonny Glen. She's witty, she's insightful, and she's a wonderful mom.

Today, she gave me a shot in the arm. Her post is sweet, and full of maternal love and pride. And it was what I needed to hear.

Why? Well, you see, The Lad just turned 15 months and still isn't walking. He can pull himself up to a standing position, but still leans on furniture, including human furniture (that's me!). Yesterday he managed to stand without support for a full second -- a huge accomplishment in my eyes.

But it's been discouraging. We knew from the start that despite how well he's done, he's still a preemie, and some htings might just take longer. And I'm delighted that in all other areas, he's right on track -- he's developing a vocabulary (last week he pointed at his shelf and said, clear as a bell, "book!"), and a distinct personality, and his fine motor skills are... well, fine. But the gross motor skills are still an issue. Part of it, I think is that his method of scooting is so effective (he's fast, and it leaves a hand free to carry stuff) reduces the incentive to walk. But whatever the reason, It worries me.

Then I read a post like Melissa's, and it reminds me that I'm not the only parent dealing with these things, and that if Melissa's "Wonder Boy" can do it, so can MY wonderful little boy. So thank you, Melissa. And congratulations.

Caps Lock & Load

Thanks for the Memory to the Colossus via The Llama Butchers, and also to Villains Vanquished.

Over the course of the last three years or so, in the ongoing discussion of the war in Iraq, one of the memes that opponents of the war throw in the faces of supporters is the the epithet of "chickenhawk". They've even come up with a nickname for pro-war bloggers -- "The 101st Fighting Keyboardists".

A few bloggers, including Captain Ed, Frank J, and Chief at Freedomdogs, decided to pull a "Yankee Doodle Dandy" on the phrase and turn it into a badge of honor. The result is a blogroll of proud "chickenhawks" -- and a unit patch:



Sign me up.

I've always thought that the "Chickenhawk" argument was disingenuous at best, especially when it's used as a rebuttal to arguments for the necessity of the war. So what's your point? Are you say I'm a hypocrite for making the pro-war argument, but not fighting myself? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not -- judging me on that point would require that you know a HELL of a lot more about me than is possible, considering I don't know you from Adam. But even if it were true, it has nothing to do with the validity of the argument I'm making -- it's an ad hominem attack.

Or are you saying that only those who serve are qualified, either morally or by merit of experiencial knowledge, to have an opinion on matters of national defense? I seem to recall that when Robert Heinlein proposed that system in Starship Troopers, it was decried as "fascist". And if you truly believe that, doesn't that disqualify YOU from speaking out on these matters as well? Sauce for the goose, you know. And what about the 132 million Americans who let only 4 millions fight for them in WWII? And are we all hypocrites for believing in laws, but not joining the police force? No, sorry, this argument doesn't hold up. While those who serve have earned a greater level of respect and honor than the rest of us, and while their acheivements in service of the country may make their qualifications for leadership more evident, they are no more qualified (or less, for that matter) to form and express opinions on matters that aafect us all than any of us are.

Beyond the logical inconsistency of the "Chickenhawk" attack is the personal nastiness of it. It states, often explicitly and always at least implicitly, that those who support the war but are not enlisted in the military are too afraid to fight. In fact, this insult is at the core of the supposed hypocrisy in being a chickenhawk -- why else the word "chicken"? But it commits another fallacy, that of the false dilemma -- it ignores a panoply of possible reasons why a person would be willing but unable to serve, and it ignores the fact that many of those who are not currently serving HAVE served in the past. I can't speak for veterans, but I should think they find this particular attitude insulting.

So that's why I'm joining the 101st. Yes, I support the war. It is horrific, and tragic, but not nearly so much so as the alternatives. No, I am not enlisting -- I tried that route, years ago, and got a "don't call us, we'll call you" brush-off from the Navy. But if I can't fight, I'll at least do my part by making sure that I honor those who can -- and do.

Schrodinger's Kid

Over the weekend as I was thinking about the parenting observation I made last week, I became aware of several other truisms about parenting and children (especially small children still in the larval and rugrat stages of development). These are mostly things I was aware of before becoming a father thanks to exposure to kids as an uncle, but became more acutely aware, and more introspective towards, as a parent -- namely these two: The more tired a child is, the more violently he will resist being put down for a nap; and the quieter a child is being, the more likely it is that they're getting onto trouble. I decided to express them as mathematical formulas.

The first is pretty simple: Ws=1/Ns where Ws is the willingness of the child to sleep and Ns is the need to sleep.

That second one is the trickier of the two. At first it seemed like simple Newtonian parenting: T=M/L, where T= The likelihood that the child is getting into trouble, M is their natural mischeivousness, and L is how loud they're being. But there is another variable here, and that's time -- it takes time to get into trouble (though not always a LOT of time). So I reassigned the variable L to represent the Length of time since you checked on them, and assigned V as the volume of the noise the child is making, and got T=(M/V)L.

But that's where Uncertainty and Superposition come into play. For starters, the value of M varies from child to child, and can even change for a given child, depending on mood, maturity, and how much trouble they got in last time. Furthermore, while it is true that as L increases, T approaches 1, you can never be sure that T has become 1 and the child really has gotten into trouble until you go check on them. Doing this, however, affects the outcome in a couple of ways: Like Schrodinger's cat, it fixes the value of T at either 1 or zero -- either they're in trouble or they're not. Secondly, checking on the child resets L to zero, and finally, if the child becomes aware that you are checking on them, this will alter their behavior (M).

There you have it, folks -- Quantum Parenting.

Semper Memoralis

Thanks for the Memory to Lisa at This Life.

And she's an Oregonian.

Trade Ya!

Thanks for the Memory to Vulture Six.

This guy is my new hero.

I'm Going In

Last time I tried to make Beer Butt Chicken, the weight of the chicken knocked the can over and the results were disappointing. But I recently picked up a litle metal frame intended to hold the can and keep the chicken upright, so I'm giving it another shot this weekend. Wish me luck.

Side note: when cooking with alcohol, my philosophy for choosing the right beer with which to cook is in opposition to my philosophy regarding wine: I never cook with a wine I wouldn't drink, but I never waste a good beer by cooking with it (well, almost never -- there are a few recipes that call for specific beer types). I am a beer snob, preferring local micro and craft brews. But when I cook, I prefer to use Bud or Old Milwaukee. I have a theory as to why: cheap beer tends to be weak beer, and thus it prvides the cooking benefits of beer without taking over the flavor of the dish. If you use a good pale ale or amber ale, the dish is gonna TASTE like pale ale or amber ale.

Gratuitous Use of Gratuitous in a Blog Post A La The Llama Butchers: Music Review Edition

I finally broke down yesterday and bought a CD I've wanted for some time:



I was not disappointed. Loretta Lynn's music and lyrics lend themselves well to the rock-tinged production of Jack White. And yet, despite having a real edge to them, they never abandon their country identity.

I bought the album specifically fothe song "Portland, Oregon", but ironically, it turns out it's not my favorite song on the album. That honor goes to the title track, a ballad about the romance between Lynn's mother and father.

And this "Rose" also has some thorns -- Loretta Lynn has not lost any of her attitude, her spirit, or the internal strength that has always marked her music. If you like old school, blues and bluegrass-tinged Country Western music, this album is worth getting.