In the past month I've gained a lot of respect for other stay at home parents, and have begun to see the challenges. I'm blessed in that I had some advanced preparation -- for almost a year now I've been splitting shifts with my wife, taking care of The Lad while she was at work, so I didn't just step off into the deep end (more like the Marianas Trench!). But even though I was putting in almost as many hours alone with him then as I am now, there's a huge difference between that sort of arrangement and taking on the role of SAHD.
For one thing, the loss of adult socialization cannot be overstated. Oh, man, does it get lonely. The poor grocery clerks get an earful. I plan to do some research on playgroups in this area. Finding fellow parents with whom to socialize has been more challenging that I first expected -- there is a sort of reverse gender bias, and while people smile approvingly of my choice to be a SAHD, a man alone at a park with a toddler is not as quickly welcomed by the rest of the parents there as a mom would be.
Then there's the twin demands of childcare duties and housekeeping. Some chores are of a nature that if they're done while he's awake, he will get in the way, or cannot safely be done with him around. Examples would be laundry (try keeping a pile of folded clothes folded with an active toddler around) or cleaning toilets. These are best done during naptimes. Other chores are noisy, and can only be done when he's awake. Problems especially occur when a chore arises that fits in both categories -- noisy AND unfeasible in his presence.
Naptimes themselves are a challenge, since they are only semi-structured. I know roughly what time each day he'll need one, but am never sure how long it will last.
This transition has been a challenge, and I'm sure it will continue to be so. One issue I'm starting to see is an attitude creeping in to my wife's thinking that seems to expect me to be responsible for all domestic duties, even when she's home from work. It's an attitude for which our society is critical of men in traditional households, but I think it's just human nature. My wife has acknowledged the shortcoming and is trying to avoid it, but it still pops up from time to time.
Now if you'll excuse me, someone's up.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I'm Not a Bartender, But I Play One at Home
So last night TFR wanted me to fix her a cosmopolitan, but we were out of cranberry juice. I substituted some cranberry-blueberry blend, and it turned out pretty good. TFR wanted to come up with a special name for it, but nothing came to mind. We googled it, and there are blueberry cosmos already, using Stoli blueberry. I'm thinking that for real effect, I might try it with blue curacao instead of triple sec. Any name ideas? A blosmopolitan? a Blogosphere?
UPDATE:
We have a winner. I came up with it myself, but it was inspired by reader HMIL's suggestion of Bluegosphere, ehich reminded me of the fact that our little sphere is also called the Blue Planet. Combine the idea of a planet with Metropolis (which is similar to cosmopolitan), and taking into consideration that there is already a Metroplolitan, and I have decided to call this drink a Daily Planet.
UPDATE:
We have a winner. I came up with it myself, but it was inspired by reader HMIL's suggestion of Bluegosphere, ehich reminded me of the fact that our little sphere is also called the Blue Planet. Combine the idea of a planet with Metropolis (which is similar to cosmopolitan), and taking into consideration that there is already a Metroplolitan, and I have decided to call this drink a Daily Planet.
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