Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Cold Comfort

"Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, Is he who sings songs to a troubled heart."

- Proverbs 25:20 (NASB)

Sorry to continue on a down note, but the posts on my dad and LBD have me reflecting on something -- particularly the nature of mourning, especially for a Christian. It started following the death of my father -- I remember feeling guilty about being so sad, especially since, as a believer, I was (and remain) sure that my father's spirit lives on. in a different way, but with the same assumption of comfort, I've been reminded today (by a well-meaning vet tech) that Miko's suffering is over and she is no longer feeling anything.

But in both cases, the point is missed. I no longer feel sorry for her, and never did for my father. I felt, and feel, sorry for myself. I mourn their loss not in the sense of them having lost their lives, but in the sense of me losing them.

When my father passed, similarly well-meaning people told me, "at least you know where he is". And I remember thinking, "yes, and I also know where he isn't. He isn't here".

Life goes on -- some of us believe it even goes on for those who have left this world, and we carry with us the hope of seeing them again. But in the meantime, we have to muddle through this world without them.

That's the reason for our tears.

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