Friday, August 13, 2004

From the Home Office in Pistol River, Oregon

Top ten reasons I am out eating at Denny's and blogging from Kinko's instead of at home watching the Olympics:

10. Opening Ceremonies: 8 PM to 12 AM
9. Pregnant Wife's current level of food-in-the-house tolerance: -12
8. It's all Greek to me.
7. Opening Ceremonies: 8 PM to 12 AM?????
6. Singing and dancing keeps getting sillier and sillier.
5. No Gyro places are open in Eugene tonight.
4. Opening Ceremonies: 8 PM to 12 AM!!!!!
3. The only part I want to see is the Torch Lighting, and it's usually last.
2. Don't want to be there when the irony of the international crowd booing American athletes while cheering free Afghan and Iraqi athletes rips a hole in the fabric of the Universe.
1. If I have to spend four freaking hours listening to Katie Couric blathering away in some vain* attempt at relevance, I swear to you I will put a bullet through my head!

*Double meaning intentional

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