Paging Anthony Bourdain...

... your Pimp Hand is needed at the Food Network.

OK, I'll admit that I ceased being a Rachel Ray fan a long time ago. It's not bad enough that I've never spent $40/day on food while on vacation in m entire freaking LIFE, but the fact that every damned thing she eats gets a reaction that would make a pr0n star proud gets on my nerves.

But tonight's 30-Minute Meals was the last straw. The woman took a porterhouse steak and smothered it in a pizza-style tomato sauce with pepperoni.

You heard me, a porterhouse. Cut from the loin. Bigass king of steaks. Treated like a freaking CUBE steak.

Someone needs to B**** slap her. She should be grateful that Anthony's on another network.

Where Have You Gone Ghirardelli Flicks?

A Nation Turns its Hungry Teeth to You, Woo Woo Woo...

This evening, TFR and I I were watching the Food Network, and the show was on candy. It got me thinking about two candies I miss from my childhood:

Ghirardelli Flicks. These were chocolate chips on steroids; stealth kisses. They were round chocolates, with a curved tip like a chip or a kiss but flatter and bigger round. They came in cardboard rolls similart to TP tubes but smaller, wrapped in colored foild paper. According to one of the websites I visited, Ghirardelli's packaging equipment was damaged when they moved to San Leandro, and that's their excuse for not selling them anymore. Considering that another company now makes and sells them, it seems like a lameass excuse. I do miss them so.

The other candy was:

7-Up Bars. Made by Pearson Candy of Minnesota, this was a filled cany bar, and each section of the bar was filled with a different flavored filling. Unlike Flicks, none of the specialty nostalgia candy makers is selling them.

Musical Geography Trivia Question(s) of the Day

1. Who met Texas Red at 11:20?
2. What did he wear?
3. In what town did this occur?

Musical Geography Trivia Question of the Day

How many of you who sit and judge me have done this?

Has Anyone Seen My Breath?

I'm trying to catch it.

Spring Term started Monday, but our first day was spent at the Food Show (a trade convention) in Portland. Tuesday, I had Cooking Theory 3. This term the focus is baking, my weak point. Class is from 11:00 until 5:30 with one half hour break. That's my Mondays and Tuesdays. Wednesdays and Thursdays, class is only from 8:30 to 2:20, but there's no break -- we're in the Ren Room, running an actual working restaurant. Tomorrow I have writing from 9:00 until 11:30. And Tuesdays through Saturdays, I care for the Lad while TFR is at work. Once I start looking for a job next week, things will get hectic. Did I mention homework?

The other night we weren't that hungry, so we had a snacky-type meal of roasted garlic spread on toasted sourdough, then lightly salted and dipped in olive oil and aged balsamic vinegar. Guess who was craziest about it? Yup, The Lad.

He's getting so big. He turned 2 in January. He's talking up a storm, his vocabulary getting bigger every day, and he can count to 7. We've started approaching the topic of potty training, but it hasn't really started in earnest yet.

Mighty Mouse

TaJuan Porter:
True Fresman
5'6"
8-12 From behind the arc.
33 Points
And thanks to him, Oregon is in the Elite 8 with their best record since the 1939 team won the very first NCAA Championship.

Monday Reading Assignment

Christopher Hitchens at Slate.

R.I.P., Van Winkle

Counterfeit philosophies have polluted all
of your thoughts.

Karl Marx has got ya by the throat, Henry
Kissinger's got you tied up in knots.

When you gonna wake up,

when you gonna wake up

When you gonna wake up and strengthen the
things that remain?

- "When You Gonna Wake Up?", Bob Dylan, Slow Train Coming

That's the song that came to mind when I read this editorial by Salena Zito. It echoes the sentiments put forth in this editorial from the German newspaper Die Welt, which was just recently emailed to me.

The German editorial was in 2004. Salena's was this week. Same message, still being ignore.

9/11

Theo Van Gogh

Darfur

When ARE we gonna wake up? And will it be too late?

Short

A few thoughts at hour 23 of a 24-hour fast:

There are too damned many food commercials on TV.

Coffee tastes great when you aren't eating, but leaves you edgy.

There are too damned many food commercials on TV.

It's interesting how much we take not only food but eating for granted. The only time I almost slipped up and ate was when I was feeding The Lad and caught myself pooping one of his cashews in my mouth -- I spit it out, but the thing was, I didn't even think before doing it.

There are too damned many food commercials on TV.

TFR asked me if I've been thinking about the troops or my stomach, and I told her both. All day I've used each pang of hunger as a prompt to reflect on what our troops go through for us, like some sort of digestive rosary.

There are too damned many food commercials on TV.

The closer it gets to 24 hours, the more aware I am of my hunger -- exponentially. I can't help but compare this to the feeling soldiers get when they're "short" (close to going home).

There are too damned many food commercials on TV.

In Under Three Hours...

I'll be starting a 24-hour fast. The idea was given to me by Lemon Stand, who participated earlier this year in the Tanker Brothers' Rolling Victory Fast.

The idea is to have everyday Americans spell each other and each fast for one day so that the fast "rolls" indefinitely. It's a symbolic gesture to let the troops know we believe in them and what they're doing for us, that we support them, and that not all Americans side with Cindy Sheehan and her crowd who claim to "support the troops but oppose the war".

So from midnight tonight until midnight tomorrow night, it's nothing for me but tea, black coffee, and water. During that time I'll be reflecting on the sacrifices our troops make for our peace, freedom, and safety. When my tummy rumbles or my mouth waters, I'll compare that minor inconvenience to the danger, the deprivation, and suffering they endure for me and mine.

On the advice of the gang at Tanker Brothers, I went to the Any Soldier website to pick a soldier from an Oregon unit to dedicate my fast to. I chose Staff Sgt. Don Hoxsey. He's an Idahoan serving in an Oregon NG unit. Since I'm from Oregon but spent my childhood in Idaho, that's appropriate.

But I'm also dedicating it to my father, my grandfather, my uncles and cousins who all served in the Army, the Navy, the Marine Corps, and the Air Force. Thank you for doing what I wanted to but couldn't -- representing our family in our country's uniform.

Black Boxing It

OK, so next week is finals week, and that means you should be hearing from me more often, ONCE that hell is over.

This week we have practical assessment finals. In Cooking Theory, that means performing specific taskes and cooking a preset meal. In Concepts of Tastes & Flavours, it's a bit more fun -- and challenging -- a Black Box, which means a bunch of product is put in front of us and we have to decide how to cook it. Today was prep day in both classes, tomorrow we cook & plate.

Here's my and my partner's menu for Tastes & Flavours:

Appetizer:
Mushroom caps stuffed with Kalamata & Anchovy Tapenade

Main Course:
Aerleon Chicken Breast marinated in olive oil & Mediterranean spices
New Potatoes sauteed with bell peppers & onions
Blanched asparagus in white wine vinaigrette

Wine:
Chardonnay

"O" Yeah!

Pac-10 Champs, Baybee! Take me to the Dance!

Musical Geography Question of the Day

In what city would you find a few red lights and a few old beds?

God is in His Heaven

And all is right with the World:

You Are 0% NYC

At best, you're a tourist. At worst, you're a poseur.

How NYC Are You?

There's a reason I choose to live west of the Cascades.

A tip of the toque to The Llama Butchers.

Musical Geography Trivia Question of the Day

If she has a cherry ice cream smile, where does she dance?

Just Remember...

Only white people are racist.

Thought for the Day

Some mornings it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.

Quote of the Day

"People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's easier to harass rich women than it is motorcycle gangs."

- Bumper Sticker

Come Back

Shane Bobgrrl, Come Back!

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If your car's got an overdrive that just won't stall, what mountain pass are you crossing?

Bullet the Blue Sky

No, not the U2 song.

If you like Bourbon & Coke, I highly recommend this combination instead: Bulleit Bourbon and Blue Sky Natural Cola. Mmmmmmmm...........

Learning Curve

There's a new Barbecue joint in town, it's called the Howling Coyote. That brings to 5 the places I know of in Eugene that make real pit smoked barbecue -- three sit-downs (Howling Coyote, Hole in the Wall, and Papa's Soul Food Kitchen) and two walk-ups (Tony's and this place I saw in passing this week but didn't catch the name of). We've tried three of them: Hole in the Wall is ok, but it's way overpriced and it's a bit on the dry side. Tony's kicks serious smoky ass. H.C. is good food, but the service is lacklustre (I'm surprised to realize that, while I'm committed to being the best chef I can be some day, when I'm a customer, I'm more critical of poor service than of disappointing food), and the meat portions are small for what you pay. Papa's Soul Food Kitchen has an awesome reputation, but so far it's always been closed or SRO when TFR and I have wanted to go. Crowds and a 2-year-old do no mix well. The last place is a mystery.

We ate at H.C. tonight -- TFR had been there, I had not. The food was good -- the Brisket was moist and tender, though the smoke ring was a might thin for my taste, and given that I paid $9.00 for a platter that was served on plastic, I expected a little more than the 4 oz. or so of it I got. TFR's ribs were good -- I'd argue that my Brisket beats theirs, but their ribs beat mine, especially if you like dry style.

But here was the part I found amusing, and revealing regarding the learning curve here in Eugene rtegarding good barbecue. When we got there, they had run out of pulled pork, and before our food arrived the chicken disappeared too. By the time we had finished eating, the ribs and brisket were gone, and they were closing down -- twenty minutes ahead of time. As we were paying the check, a young man walked in, and got huffy when told they were closing. As we walked out the door, we saw a couple getting out of their car. We let them know that they were closed because they were out of meat. It took them a minute to get it... "Didn't they just open for business recently?"

Folks, this is BARBECUE. They smoke this meat for 12-14 hours. As I'm typing this, they're loading in the Boston butts and briskets that will be eaten tomorrow afternoon. They're making estimates NOW about how much business they'll get TOMORROW. It's not like a regular restaurant where they fire the food when you order it. It's being fired now, and tomorrow, when it's gone, it's gone. Just like happened tonight.

I've heard of places in Texas where people will stand in line for an hour or more, and even then be taking their chances -- often they'll get to the front of the line only to be informed that the food is gone. Are you serious about barbecue? Then you get there EARLY. That's the way it's done.

A few people get it -- this is, after all, the destination location of the Great Migration, people have over the generations moved here from all over, and are still arriving, and those people bring with them the cultural knowledge of their place of origin. But Eugene has a lot to learn about Barbecue.

An empty stomach is a small price to pay for knowledge.

Pondering Life's Deeper Mysteries

What ever happened to Love Potions Numbers 1-8?

Musical Geography Question of the Day

From where was a brave young Indian you should remember well?

Musical Geography Question of the Day

Where is there a shadow on the door?

Boy Howdy

A Tip of the Toque to Professor Chaos for this idea. I'm going to try getting back into the swing of blogging by starting a new feature: Sous What?, a semi-regular post in which I will answer some culinary question posed by a reader. Bearing in mind that I'm still a culinary student and not a culinarian yet, let alone an actual chef, some questions will require I do some research before answering. But this weeks question, posed by the aforementioned Professor Chaos, I can answer now:

What's the difference between a marinade with a base of water vs. having a base of oil?

The main differese is that water-based marinades, and their close relatives brines, will dry food, especially red meat, out more than oil-based marinades. This is largely due to the salinity of the marinades (hence the term brine). Fat, which is what oil is, just vegetable fat, preserves moistness. It seems counter-intuitive, but that's how it works, especially with grilling, frying and sauteeing. Add some acid to cut the fat -- red wine, citrus juice, and vinegar being the top three options.

That's not to say that fatless marinades don't have their place. If you plan to use a moist heat cooking method, such as braising or stewing, dryness isn't going to be an issue.

And there are, of course, exceptions to every rule. Slow cooked food is the exception in this case. Alton Brown recommends brining turkey to make it moister. Smoked fish is brined then dried, creating a layer called a pellicle that retains moinsture in the meat. And when I barbecue brisket, I marinate it in a fatless marinade, but one that's fairly low in salt, and it's further mitigated by the way the meat is cooked -- fat cap up, so all that yummy fat melts into the meat. But for leaner cuts of meat, and cooking on a grill or stovetop, I'd go with an oil-based marinade.

CORRECTION:

My Chef Instructor has made it clear to me that brine-based marinades and brines CAN be used on thinner cust od meat, but the amount of time they're used is decreased -- any longer and drying will occur. The general rule of thumb is 1 lb. of salt per gallon of water, which results in a brine of about 20% salinity. This salinity is optimized for penetrating 1/2" of meat per side per hour. That means an inch-thich steak is being penetrated from both sides and needs on 1 hour in the marinade.

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If She's workin' four to twelve at Trucker's World tonight, where are you?

Scotland The Brave

A la the Dropkick Murphys.

Something to Blog About

You were all right. All it took was something to talk about.

The culinary and food service industry has one of the highest, perhaps the highest, rates of charitable giving, volunteerism, and community activism of any industry in the country. One of the things I appreciate about the culinary program at LCC is that while they're teaching us the basic skills to become cooks, they're also instilling in us the mindset of chefs. Today was a prime example. We didn't have regular classes, but rather spent the morning and afternoon at a charitable event called Project Homeless Connect, sonsored by Food for Lane County, providing the bulk of the food service. I was assigned to the grill, and with the help of another first year, grilled 800 burgers in 2 1/2 hours. I've learned a few things recently, from both today and from school in general:

1. Radiant Heat CAN cause burns.
2. Some grease doesn't come out no matter how much bleach or hydrogen peroxide you use.
3. When you're the one doing the cooking, it doesn't matter how low on the totem pole you are, if your runners don't keep up, YOU ARE WITHIN YOUR RIGHTS TO KICK THEIR ASSES.
4. For an industry that involves a lot of fast-paced hard work, when things go wrong, you can end up working even harder and faster, or you can end up doing a lot of waiting... isially the latter, then the former.

Doldrums

You may have noticed a significant lack of posting on my part over the last few weeks. I'm afraid it will go on for some time, and may even become permanent.

Part of the problem is, obviously, time. This term makes last seem easy, and it's only going to get more hectic from here on out. Betwen school, homework, being a dad, and being sick, I haven't had much time to blog.

Part of the problem is a lack of inspiration. Nothing seems to make me want to blog these days. Politics? Blah. Everyone's minds are made up: left, right, middle. We're not going to convince each other, all we're doing now is marking our territory. I'm still committed to my convictions, and I'm just as committed to voting those convictions, but I've seriously begun to question the usefulness of pontification about it here on this blog. Food? I'm spending hours every day studying it, talking about it, making it, I kinda want a break from it here. The Lad just turned two, and there's plenty I could say about that, but that's about it. There are plenty of issues in my life I could talk about here, and in fact would LOVE to vent about in a blog, but the problem is, people who know me in person read this blog, and I don't want everyone I know knowing everything about me. It would be nice had I maintained some anonymity, and could use this blog as catharsis, but that's not the case.

So there it is. I've grown fond of the interaction between myself and my readers, especially my fellow bloggers (I'm looking at you, Naked Villainy, Llama Butchers, Ken and Emily, Bobgirrl, Eugene Rants, Nightfly, and a host of others!), but I wonder if I've run out of things to say.

Can You Say Swamped, Boys and Girls?

Throughout toe first Term plus of Culinary School, it's been interesting to observe the difference between learning a new concept, and experiencing a new concept. What we are taught in the classroom, we actually do in the lab.

This week's culinary concept which I learned last term but only truly experienced for the first time yesterday?

In the Weeds.

Changing of the Guard

Final:
Indianapolis Colts 38
Monkey On Their Backs New England Patriots 34

Indianapolis was down 21-3 at one point, making this the biggest conference championship comeback in NFL history.

Having spent a couple of years in college in Fort Wayne, and still having friends from Indiana, I've watched their hearts break time and again as the Colts have come so close but fallen short, more often than not brought low by the Patriots. I can only imagine how much sweeter this championship must be because of the team they beat.

Congratulations to the Colts and their fans -- enjoy the Miami sunshine.

For Everyone Who's Endured High School Lit Class Movie Day

A tip of the toque to Maximum Leader at Naked Villainy:



Peter Sellers reciting the Beatles a la Olivier as Richard III

Friday, Fishday

Since it's Friday, I decided to cook seafood for dinner, and I decided to go with slumgullion.

Slumgullion originally was a word to describe a watery meat stew, and comes from the California Gold Rush, but a more modern western U.S. meaning of the term is a soup made similarly to New England Clam Chowder, but including other seafood as well as the clams. It is a chowder well suited to Oregon's seafood. Here's the recipe I used:

Ingredients:
6 oz. Dungeness crab meat
6 oz. shrimp meat (I use the tiny sweet shrimp native to the Oregon coast)
4 0z. bacon
2 lbs. clams in shell (I actually only used 12 oz., but the only shortcoming of the final dish was a lack of sufficient clam chunks)
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup whole milk
3 tbsp. butter
1 cup sweet yellow onion, small dice
1/2 cup celery, small dice
2.5 lbs Russett potatoes
salt to taste
pepper to taste
fresh thyme to taste

Mise en Place:
stock pot
2 large saucepans (3 quart or bigger)
wooden spoon
paring knife
chef's knife
Chinois or mesh strainer
non-reactive bowl
ladle
cutting board

Place the potatoes in one of the saucepans and fill with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce heat and simmer until fork soft. Blanch, peel, and cut large dice.

While the potatoes are boiling, place an inch of water in the stock pot, bring to a boil, add the clams. Boil for 5 minutes and drain, straining the water through a chinois or mesh strainer into a bowl. Chop the clams and rinse, removing the stomach grit.

Cut the bacon into half-inch pieces. In a second large saucepan, render the bacon and add the small diced onion and celery, sweat until clear. Deglasse with 1 cup of the clam water and transfer to the stock pot. Add the clams, shrimp, crab meat, potatoes, cream, butter, remaining clam water and milk, simmer for 1 hour, adding salt, pepper, and thyme at the half hour mark.

Makes 6-8 servings.

I made a simple parmesan toast to go with it, and paired it with a Chilean Sauvignon Gris, which was wonderful, but any white wine with a citrus component would go well with it.

Heh

A tip of the toque to best friend Lurch, who forwarded me this e-mail. It's apocryphal but amusing:

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan wouldbe granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property datedback to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (Actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented theapplication, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (Actual Letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area,would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner oforigin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.

I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved!

Woo Hoo!

Snow Day!

Gwynn In

I never doubted it for a moment. Tony Gwynn has been elected to the Hall of Fame in his first year of eleigibility with 97.61%, seventh highest vote in history.

As a lifelong Padres fan, Gwyn epitomized Baseball for me. He was a technically excellent hitter -- I remember a poster Nike had that had a schematic diagram of the perfect hitting stance fading into a photo of T. Gwynn. He's also Mr. San Diego -- he played his high school, college, and pro ball ALL in the city of San Diego, and now he coaches for his Alma Mater, SDSU. He was good natured, a sportsman, an gentleman, a humble guy, and a humanitarian. If you look up the word "nice" in the dictionary, there's his picture. He was a gold glove fielder, and the quintessential team player -- on at least one occasion foregoing salary raises he could easily have merited so that the Pads could fit a needed deal in under the salary cap.

Congratulations, Tny, you deserve this honor, and I'm proud to say I was there in the Murph on numerous occasions to witness your stellar career.

Mmmm M!

Two or three items of epicurian interest to report/recommend:

1. For the most part, I prefer to buy and pair local wines when I cook and stock my rack, especially aince I cook so may locally flavored dishes. However, I'm not above enjoying wine from ther sources, and my Sister-in-Law gave us a great wine for Christmas -- as much as this pains me to say, an excellent California wine: Campus Oaks 2003 Lodi Old Vine Zinfandel, from Gnekow Family Wineries. It's a full-bodied red, but it's not as acidic and dry as a lot of big reds I've tried -- it's softer than a Cab or Merlot, but fuller than a Pinot. It has a lot of fruit and berrie accents, and is incredibly smooth and mellow -- The SIL paired it with prime rib on Christmas Eve, and that worked well, but we had our bottle by itself, without food, and that worked well -- it's not sweet, but it was vaguely reminiscent of Port, and I imagine it would go well with a dessert, especially chocolate.

2. For my local readers, the new Market of Choice in South Eugene is open and amazing -- the architecture is very Northwest, it's clean, well-stocked, and the staff is friendly. If you decide to grab a nosh from the Deli, I highly recommend the Cheese Steward's Pannini: Thin-sliced Black Forest Ham, Gruyere, Brie, and smoked Gouda on a perfect bread -- the crust so crisp it shatters when you bite into it, and an interior so light you swear it'll float away.

3. While I was there, I tried a sample of some Bela brand Portuguese sardines packed in a tomato sauce -- delicioso! The salt of the sardines offsets the acid of the tomato nicely, and the mild seafood taste is nowhere nearly as fishy as you'd fear. they were served on saltines, but I think a water cracker or toasted baguette slices would be better, since the sardines don't really need the extra salt. I'm also thinking they would be great in a salad, though I haven't give much thought to what kind.

True to my Word(s), I'm Eating Them

Each of us puts foot to mouth from time to time, and that's just what I did in my post excoriating Smallholder. It was obvious to everyone but myself that the post was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and since then, personal emails from Smallholder and others at Naked Villainy have confirmed that the snark was aimed at a personal friend, not a political figure.

I was wrong, and I'm sorry.

Numbskulls and Bones

The Good Shepherd had some good parts as well, but once again, elements of the plot were lacking. What I found most intriguing was the portrayal of Skull and Bones, a secret society at Yale University. The Good Shepherd, ostensibly a movie about the founding of the CIA, takes on an umistakable homoeroticism when the Bonesmen are on the stage. Who knew that an organization that counts Presidents among its ranks could be so thoroughly, thoroughly queer.

- Smallholder, Naked Villainy

SH (a man I once respected) goes on to make a snarky remark about "knowing someone in the organization". Apparently, he thinks that because a movie portrays things as being a certain way, that makes them so (aka "The Syriana Effect"). That explains a lot about his positions on a lot of topics.

It's the Size of the Fight in the Dog

Oklahoma University 42
Boise State University 43
Final

As a native of the Pacific Northwest, and a former resident of Idaho, my congratulations to the Broncos. To the Sooners, I ask, what's your excuse this time?

And to the Sports Reporter who spoiled the BSU player's surprise when he proposed to his girlfriend, you, sir, are a schmuck.

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind ?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and auld lang syne ?

For auld lang
syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your
pint-stowp !

And surely I’ll be mine !

And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne,

my dear, for auld lang syne,

we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,

for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,

and pou’d the gowans fine ;

But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,

sin’ auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne,
my dear, for auld
lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,

frae morning sun till dine ;

But seas between us braid hae roar’d

sin’ auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne,
my dear, for auld
lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty
fiere !

And gies a hand o’ thine !

And we’ll tak a right gude-willie-waught,

for auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne,
my dear, for auld lang
syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

- Robert Burns

Happy Hogmanay to all my friends, family, and readers.

QOTD

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."

- W.C. Fields

Hurt So Good

Further proof that any song he sang, he owned.

Room Service for Mr. Hussein....

Your justice is served, cold as ordered.

Faith and Begorrah!

A Tip of the Toque to Robbo the Llama Butcher:

What Kind of Cross are You?

You are the Celtic Cross: This cross was first made out of stone and is often found atop hills, in front of castles and in graveyards throughout Ireland and Scotland. The stone was carved with various symbols including a circle or halo (representing eternal life) and variations of the celtic knot.
Take this quiz!








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Musical Geography Question of the Day

Because I know he will get it in a heartbeat, Vic is forbidded from playing this round, but gets an automatic win -- this one's for second place, folks:

If you're going to go ahead and wreck your health, where are you going?

Good to the Bone

Based on an earlier recipe I tried almost 2 years ago, I porceeded to take responsibility for the preparation of Christmas ham this year. My new glaze was 2 cups of water, brought to a boil and then steeped with 2 Stash brand Chai Spice Decaf Tea, simmered for 8 minutes. To this I added a 12 oz can of OJ concentrate, 1/2 cup mollasses, 1/4 cup honey, 1/4 cup bourbon, and 1 cup ginger ale.

I covered the bottom of the pan with rosemary sprigs, and added water just up to the top of the sprig layer. The bone-in, spiral cut ham was placed on top of this, open face down, and prepared with bay leaves and cloves inserted into the cuts. More rosemary was placed over the top, and it was roasted at 300 degrees for 15 minutes/pound, with the glaze being added throughout.

I must say, it was quite well received, and I was pleased with the results. The ham came out so succulent that I decided to try something I've been curious about since starting culinary school. Based on the results, I have two pieces of advice if you cook a ham this way:

1. Try the marrow.

2. Don't let your wife or sister-in-law see you.

The Lad's Aunties are Evil

Christmas.

Noisy toys.

'Nuff said?

Not quite, one more thing:

Payback.

RIP

President Ford has passed away. He was 93, the oldest-lived of any U.S. president. God rest his humble soul.

Pun Fun

Has it been that long?

Anyway, I've decided to develop a new cartoon super-villain. It'll be a giant sentient rodent who takes delight in letting the air out of people's tires so they can't escape.

That's right, he's... Deflater Mouse!

Bait and Which?

Almost thou persuadeth me to respond, Smallholder.

But again you have made the same mischaracterization of my position which you have made every time this point comes up, and I have ceased believing that is unintentional. As long as that happens, I refuse to respond to the body of your post. You're going to beat a straw man every time, why should I bother defending the poor inanimate agrarian mannequin?

Update (12/23/2006):

Can anyone guess what that mischaracterization is? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I See Plot Devices

After the discussion in Emily's post about the big news in the world of scatology... er... scamology... er... sciencefictiony...... degenerated into a discussion of really bad moviemaking in general, Nightfly was inspired.. or something.... to pen this little ditty to the tune of "Road to Shambala".

Feel the groove, man.

The Th*tanic Verses (Or is that Bend it Like Xenu?)

A tip of the Toque to Emily at It Comes in Pints?

A new movie is in the works. Obligatory couch-hopping to ensue.

I've been Ambush Tagged

By the Llama Butchers.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?

Oh, yes please. Don't forget the wassail, the hot spiced cider, and the hot buttered rum.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

Depends on the physical bulk of the gift. Usually he wraps them, but if, for instance, the gift is a bike or wagon, a simple bow will do.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?

Colored on the tree, white on the house.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

Sometimes.

5. When do you put your decorations up?

As soon after Thanksgiving as we have a chance to, though this year that wasn't until Dec. 11th. Living here in Oregon, trees are VERY fresh when we get them, so they last a good long time.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

Crackers, beef stick, port wine cheese, and other snacky stuff. It has always been a tradition in my family to forego a real meal on New Year's Day, and instead nosh on hors d'oeuvres all day while watching the Rose Parade and bowl games.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:

Christmas tree hunting. Again, growing up in the Pacific Northwest, where evergreen trees are so abundant, we never BOUGHT a tree. We always drove up into the hills/mountains (back in those days you didn't need a permit) and cut one ourselves -- always from BLM land, never national forest or provate land. My mom would pick the tree, and my dad would cut it down and haul it back to the vehicle. More often than not, my mom would make my dad traipse across the hillside for an hour before finally returning to the first tree we'd spotted, and often the ideal tree was the top 7 feet of a 20-foot-tall tree.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

My parents never told me he really did exist, so I don't ever recall an Earth-shattering moment of revelation to the contrary. This is currently a bone of contention in our household, since TFR grew up in a family that to this days perpetuates the myth among its children. I don't want to play up Santa Claus to The Lad, but TFR has won on this one.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Yes. In my family, it was one gift Christmas Eve, all the rest on Christmas Day. We've adopted TFR's family's tradition, which is to open gifts between family members on Christmas Eve, and Santa gifts Christmas Day.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

When I was a child, my parents started a tradition of giving my sisterand me one new ornament each year. A few were lost or destroyed over the years (moves, flooding, etc.), but most survived. When each of us married, those ornaments went with us. Lo and behold, TFR grew up with a similar tradition, and we're carrying it on with The Lad. Therefore, our tree is covered in an eclectic variety of ornaments. As for the exat process, we start by stringing lights (including two strings of light shaped like Winnie-the-Pooh and friends), then the garland, and then ornaments. Every few years, TFR lets me indulge in icicle tinsel.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?

Love it, almost never get it. TFR hates it, except at Christmastime (a result of her Minnesota upbringing).

12. Can you ice skate?

I've seldom had a chance to, but took right to it when I tried.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

The used copy of BH Liddel-Hart's A History of the Second World War given to me by TFR our first (very poor) Christmas together.

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Time spent with friends and family. I'm a very social person, and since moving back to Oregon, I've made few friends and often find myself very very lonely. The holidays often are the only time I am with a large number of people about whom I care deeply.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Homemade caramel corn.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Reading the gospel account of the nativity on Christmas Eve.

17. What tops your tree?

A star.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

Giving. And when it comes to receiving, it's all about the surprise. No matter how small the present is, if it's unexpected and thoughtful, that's more important than how expensive it is.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

It's a tossup between O Come All Ye Faithful, Silent Night, and O Come, O Come Emmanuel.

20. Candy canes:

Mmmmm.... Love 'em. I used to give them out to customers when I worked as a parking lot attendant.

21. Favorite Christmas movie?

Scrooged.

22. What do you leave for Santa?

We don't, yet. At TFR's family's, it's the traditional milk and cookies, and carrots for the reindeer.

Consider yourself tagged, Ken at It Comes in Pints, Bob at Eugene Rant, and the Nightfly.

Do the Math

A tip of the toque to my best friend Lurch.

It has to be heard to be believed.

Santa's Downfall

Say "No" to this cuteness:



Go ahead, try.

Sympathy for the Devil

Whatever else you think of Martha Stewart, you have to give her this -- the B knows how to throw down when it comes to libations.

'Tis the season to be jolly, indeed.

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If he keeps his pocket full of spending loot, from where is he?

I Lied to Myself

After a stressful first term readjusting to life as a full-time student, I told myself I didn't care about my actual grades, as long as I passed.

I lied.

Grades are supposed to be posted tomorrow, but mine were available today. I got a B in Cooking Theories I (a 6-hour course), a B in Human Relations in the Workplace, and an A in Restaurant Operations (both 3-hour courses), for a GPA of 3.25.

I'm pissed at myself for the B in Cooking Theories. That's the core cirriculum of the program, the foundation of everything else. And I could have had an A, if I'd finished one more cooking lab.

I'll do better next term in CookingTheories II.

Gives a Whole New Meaning to Ho! Ho! Ho!

A tip of the Toque to the Bling Blog:

Pimp My Nutcracker.

Seasons Beatings

A tip of the toque to Tree Hugging Sister at Coalition of the Swilling via Ken at It Comes in Pints?

Not only is Dennis Miller dead on right, he's the only man I know who could pull of references to Ronnie Lott and capers in one monologue.

Single Malt/Latin Dance/Ballroom Dance

If anyone knows what's up with Haloscan, drop me an email.

Wreck the Halls

You're not alone, Robbo.

Since last Christmas was The Lad's first, it was spent in Minnesota, where TFR's family lives, and my mother, as well as my sister and her husband (all of whom live in Michigan) met us there. Because we left on the 18th and didn't return until after New Years Day, we didn't get a tree for our place. That means the last time we had a tree and did serious decorating was Christmas of 2004, and the last time we put AWAY Christmas ornaments and decorations was some time in January of 2005 (Hey, we're not as bad as SOME people). We have color-coded Rubbermaid containers for our decorations and ornaments, but by the time they were filled, we didn't have room left in them for our lights. Money was tight, and (more importantly) I was feeling lazy, so instead of going to the store and getting another container, and rather than risking the lights in a flimsy cardboard box, I decided (despite TFR's protests) to store them in an old Samsonite hardside suitcase. I tied red and green ribbon on the handle (so I'd remember what was in them), and stored them in the attic (you see what's coming, doncha?).

Fast forward almost two years, to yesterday evening. We spent the afternoon after church driving out to a Christmas tree farm in Veneta, because the proceeds of the sales there yesterday went to our church youth group's mission trip this spring. We picked out a 7' douglas fir. Usually I would prefer a white or noble fir, but because they were for a fundraiser, and fresh cut, the trees were higher priced than we usually pay -- the doug alone cost $25.

So we got home, got the living room rearranged, and the tree set up, and I went to the garage to get out the Christmas decorations. I got all of the boxes out, and began to panic. Why?

You guessed it -- no lights. I searched high 9the attic) and low (the garage), but no lights. I eventually gave up and went to bed.

This morning I started again with the search, and ended up doing a yeoman's job of cleaning the garage in an attempt to find the missing box of lights (box, mind you), all to no avail. TFR even questioned whether I had truly looked through ALL of the boxes in the garage and attiv.

After about an hour, and at wit's end, it suddenly dawned on me what had happened. I clambered back up into the attic, dug out the suitcase, and let out a triumphant whoop as soon as I saw the red and green ribbon. I hauled it down and lugged it into the house, putting a triumphant spin on things when I declared, "See? I TOLD you I looked in all the boxes!"

The Old Guard Loses One of Its Finest

I heard the news from Ken at It Comes in Pints?

America's Thatcher is gone. Requiescat in pace, Jeane Kirkpatrick.

It's Its

A while back I made a common grammatical mistake, but one I should not have, and a good friend called me on it.

I have atoned:

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

A tip of the toque to Robbo of the Llama Butchers.

Musical Geography Question of the Day

What could you walk across with five steps down, and where?

The Light at the End of the Tunnel is Usually an Oncoming Train...

... But hopefully, not this time. I finished my finals on Monday, and go in this morning to make up some kitchen lab work. One final was easier than I expected, the other harder, so, it balanced out.

I also just received confirmation that I passed the ServSafe exam we took back in November. The ServSafe certification is a food handling safety and sanitation certification that is accepted in all 50 states in lieu of a food handler's card, and is in fact more stringent than many state standards (and no LESS stringent than any). Passing that is a make or break for the program.

Now I just need to scrape up $900 so I can pay the rest of this term's tuition and register for winter term.

Crow for Coyote

Army 14
Navy 26

You were saying?

Early Holiday Wishes

Usually I wait until this coming Friday to extend this special holiday wish, but the mood has struck me tonight:

GO

!!!!!

BEAT
ARMY
!!!!!

Did You Get That Memo?

Apparently, not.

I received an e-mail today from a (still bitter, apparently) Sooners fan. I thought I'd share, and respond here:

just found your blog looks good. the reason to
email i wanted to know ifthat phony call against the sooners was worth it seeing
how your seasonended up. at least i hope your a honest duck fan not many of them
you willagree the sooners got screwed. hell the repaly offical quit because he
newthey blew it. keep up the good writing and by the way
BOOMERSOONERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, J, thanks for the compliment. Yeah, we had a bit of a let-down in the latter stages of our season, didn't we? I saw it coming, I'm afraid, during the Cal game. As for whether that "Phony" call was worth it, well, since I don't believe in karma, and thus don't believe there's any causal realtionship between the UO-OU game and the rest of our season, It's rather a moot point, isn't it? But if gloating over the Would I prefer we had beaten the Sooners without the controversy? Sure. But that's the way the ball bounces. Teams have lost games due to blown calls by officials forever. What do you propose -- that every bad call ever be reversed retroactively?

As for intentionally insulting all Oregon fans by questioning our "honesty": well, if that's what passes for sportsmanship in Soonerland, I'm afraid you don't have much moral standing to complain about a blown call. Besides, people who root for a team whose nickname historically was synonymous with cheating (at the land grants), really shouldn't throw stones. Glass houses are pricey these days. And, while we're on the subject of being honest, do you expect me to believe that if the situation had been reversed, and Oregon had lost the game on a blown call, the Sooners and their fans would be any more inclined to surrender the victory? Yeah, right.

Do I think Oklahoma got screwed? Absolutely. Do I feel bad that the outcome of the game is tainted by that? Sure. Do I think the Ducks themselves intentionally did the screwing? No -- they played to the best of their ability, they played clean, it was a lousy officiating crew that screwed you guys. Do I think the Ducks should have the voctory stripped from them because of htis? No. If they had intentionally cheated to get the win, yes. But again, these things happen, and the best we can do is to fix what breaks so it doesn't happen again. And finally, do I think you're a crybaby poor sport with no life for feeling the need to email me about this months after my last post on the topic, let alone the game?

Oh, Hell yes.

Musical Geography Question of the Day

In what city is there gonna be a certain party at the station?

(Last Round's winner: Tony of blah blah blog fam... er... notorie... er... of blah blah blog)

Musical Geography Question(s) of the Day

Where did our fathers spend their weekends?

Where are we living?

Conference of Champions

I make no bones about being a fan of the University of Oregon Ducks. However, whenever I can do so without conflict, I also root for the University of Southern California, and have my whole life, because my grandfather and father were, and mother is, lifelong Trojan fans. My Grandfather swore to his dying day that the greatest football player in history was Ambrose Bierce [huh?] Schindler [thanks, mom].

Even when the Pac-10 race is tight, there's one game, fortunately non-conference, in which I ALWAYS root for USC, regardless of the ramifications for the Ducks.

Which is why tonight's outcome gives me some consolation after the Ducks' heartbreaker in the Civil War:

USC 44
Notre Dame 24

Fight On.

One More Reason to Give Thanks

My very first attempt at a merengue pie (lime), cooling before dinner yesterday:

Joey Harrington's Revenge

Suck on it, Detroit.

I Wish I Knew Jack

I wrote the following post two year ago, and can still be found in my archives for this day last year. I really can't add much to it, so I thought I'd update and repost it.

Today marks the forty-second anniversary of the death of, arguably, one of the men who most influenced Western thought in the Twentieth Century. He also happened to be one of the men I admired most greatly, so it seems fitting that I should mark his passing.

Though most of the world recognizes his name when they hear his initials, his friends called him "Jack".

He was a war veteran, and his service influenced much of his later thought.

His romance with his wife was the stuff movies are made about.

He was a thinker, a man of convictions, whose words stir the soul, stimulate the mind, and challenge the will into acts of conviction.

And so I bid him Rest in Peace. He has shaped the way I think, as he has many others I know. Here's looking forward to meeting you on the other side, Jack.



C.S. Lewis
November 29, 1898 - November 22, 1963

UPDATE:

OK, so I felt the need to add a Lewis Quote:

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

--Mere Christianity

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If the local guitar picker got his guitar picking thumb, in what city are you?

A Moment With Mike and the Bots

Tonight The Feared Redhead and I were watching one of our favorite television shows, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which was rebuilding a house in Dundee, Wisconsin. My Minnesota-born wife with the Wisconsinite relatives had never heard of Dundee, so I Googled it.

Hmmmm....

Wisconsin...

UFO's...

I hate to admit it, but the first thought that came to my mind consisted of two words:

Packers! Woooooo!

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If she died of a fever, and no one could save her, where did you first meet her?

Buttermilk Sky

Taken on the campus of Lane Community College:

Growing Up Too Fast

This picture was taken tonight, and while it's a bit blurry, it's significant:



That dark blur at the top of the stairs, entering the slide, is The Lad -- about 7 or 8 feet up, which he ascended by himself, and down which he descended by himself -- at 21 months!

I'm proud, but sad. He's supposed to stay little, dammit!

The Lad: Camera Phone Photoblogging

These pictures cover quite a few months:

The very first picture I took of him with the camera phone, thios time last year:



Last spring, just before he started walking:




Also last spring or winter:



Also back in the spring or summer, before he gave up the bottle. We had a surprisingly easy time making the transition, but this day, not even sleep could rob him of his ba-ba:



Early summer. You buy them toys, they play with the box:



Early summer, a glimpse of things to come *shudder*:



At the same mall -- dream big, little boy:



This past summer, we took him to Lone Pine Farm to see the tractor:

And the goats:







The sheep weren't so thrilled to meet him. Mutton, anyone?:



We bought fresh produce that day. Like any good Oregon boy, he loves berries:



And watermelon:



This summer, at the park:



He liked the sand at the park so much, we had to:



At the Portland Zoo:



This Halloween (he was too sick to wear this outfit trick-or-treating):

So Much for being the Cool Dad

I had a bit of trouble with the stroller the other day:

The Sound of Silence

Sorry for the lack of posting, not much to say these days.

I've Been Everywhere, Man

A tip of the Toque to Maximum Leader at Naked Villainy, who turned me on to this quiz:

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The South
The Inland North
What American accent do you have?

The results aren't surprising, considering how much I've moved in my life -- Born in Oregon, I moved to California at 4 -- Southern first, then Northern. We moved to Idaho when I was in the 4th grade, and back to Oregon for my high school years. I went to bible college in Indiana, then moved to San Diego, then back to Oregon. Along the way I developed best friendships with Michiganders and Texans and married a Minnesotan. So like my ethnic background, I'm a dialectic mutt.

So what's the Oregon accent? It varies from region, but for the most part it's typically western -- slower, and a bit lazy in our pronunciation.

When You Gonna Wake Up

When you gonna wake up strengthen the things
that remain?

- Bob Dylan, "When You Gonna Wake Up?" Slow
Train Coming

A few political matters to attend to tonight:

OK, there's no way around it, this was a bad night to be a Republican. We've lost control of the House, and at this hour the Senate is still up for grabs. Closer to home, it looks like Oregon is stin unready to face the fact that a generation of Democratic governors has left us in the economic backwaters of America, and thanks to Measure 43 being defeated, teenage girls can't get a tattoo without her parents knowing, but she can get an abortion.

But things could be worse. For one thing, a lot of the Democrats being elected across the country are moderate and conservative Democrats: Anti-Tax, pro-Life, Pro-Sencond Amendment. And while Pelosi may be Speaker, she doesn't have the unanimous support for all of her agenda from all of the House Dems.

So here's my message to fellow Republicans and conservatives: Butch up. Let's not act like the Left did in 2000, 2002, and 2004. No whining, I don't want to hear "they stole it!", no threats to move to Canad... er Australia. Let's look at what went wrong, look at what we did right, and, like the song says, strengthen what remains. It's more important now than ever that we fight the good fight and stand up for our beliefs. Balls, Boys, Balls!

Kitchen Theology

I believe there is a very special Hell reserved for chefs who take without asking from another chef's Mise en Place.

New Blogroll Addition

Today while checking my site traffick, I discovered that I was linked to by a page that listed a whole bunch of Blogs that had blogged on the John F "Not so Swift a Boater" Kerry kerfluffle. While checking out that link, I stumbled across another blog and just had to add it to my blogroll.

Why? Well, for three specific reasons:

1. He's a fellow conservative, and a well-spoken one at that.

2. He's a fellow Oregonian. 'Nuff said.

3. He served in the U.S. Navy, specifically in the amphibious fleet. Now, for this I have a doubly soft spot in my heart for him. I come from a family brimming with sailors, on both sides of the family. My father, my sister's husband, two paternal cousins and a maternal cousin all served or are currently serving in the U.S. Navy, including one who retired after making a career of it. My best friend Vulture Six also served in the modern U.S. Navy. In addition, my maternal grandfather not only served in the Navy, he served on an LSD in Worl War II. My grandad was a real man, the kind of man who made Ernest Hemingway seem like a pansy. He worked during his life as a ranch hand, a ranch foreman, a laborer and later a superintendant of a salt harvesting operation, and a shipfitter in the Navy. During his service, he went aboard a sister ship that had been struck by a kamikaze and rescued several men from a burning compartment. He was a father, a husband, a grandfather, a hunter, an angler, a joketeller extraordinaire, and all around just plain one helluva man. So anyone who has any sort of connection to him, be it personal or via career path, is ok in my book.

For all of those reasons, I hereby commend to you The Bow Ramp. Go read. He seems like a good guy.

For a Beavers fan.

It's Not Always About the Money

Some of you may recall the pleas I put out about a year ago for financial support and prayer for Jaqcui Probst, the little Oregon girl with a big medical problem and a bigger heart. With the support of many people, her surgeries were more than paid for. I feel good knowing I did what I could, and knowing so many people gave.

Well, while the giving financially isn't necessary anymore, the prayers are still needed. I just received the following email from her family, along with permission to reprint it on my Blog:

Second Verse, Same as the First...

Well Everyone,

We're having a serious deja vous experience around here. Once again, we will soon be boarding a plane to New York for a surgery for Jacqui, her second. Well, second of this type. I was counting them up the other day and this will actually make a grand total of 23 times under anesthesia for various surgeries and procedures. No wonder we can't seem to shake off that shell-shocked look! The good news is that this
time, it is courtesy of one of her surgeon's private grants. For those of you
who are scratching your heads thinking we were finished, uh… so did we.
Allow us to explain...

Last year, as you know, there were some complications with Jacqui's surgery. We knew there likely would be, so it really didn't catch us by surprise. Jacqui's Lymphatic Malformation (LM) was even more extensive than originally thought and it made for some serious challenges for her surgeon. We are asked a lot, “Didn't you go to New York so nothing would go wrong?” The answer surprises some - "Well, no, not really." The primary reason we went to New York was that we knew there was a very high probability, almost an inevitability, that something would go wrong. When it and if things did go wrong, we wanted her to be in the most experienced hands possible so that the problems would be addressed quickly, appropriately and with experience and skill. And, that is exactly what happened. Looking back on the entire experience of everything that happened makes us incredibly grateful that her surgeon did have such extensive experience. The rare occasions where we ponder what might have happened had she been in different hands results in a sensation not unlike staring over the edge of a 1,000 foot cliff after a nasty tumble in its general
direction. About all that goes through your head while your heart pounds at 100
miles per hour is "Whew!!" Then we thank God for all of you and your prayers!

Jacqui's surgery last year went very well over all. Her LM was successfully removed and we have had no incidence of recurrence, which is very good. Chances are very small now that it will re-generate. Her breathing is worlds better! We really have to listen to hear her now when she is sleeping and she no longer needs a heart-rate monitor for apnea. Her cyclic vomiting syndrome and migraine symptoms appear to have stabilized and she hasn't had an episode since January. She has been regaining nerve function in the right side of her face and is right on track with anticipated recovery rates. Every month we see new improvements. She has had a very, very good year!

Now, about last year's surgery complications. The surgery was a long one - just over 8 hours. The surgeon told us that it was one of the most difficult surgeries that he had done and estimated that the mass they removed was about 2 pounds. It was so large that it had pressed all the structures in her neck far left of center - muscles,
blood vessels, everything. That made it impossible to guess where everything was
ultimately going to end up after things had a chance to settle down for a few
months after the surgery. Because of this, they had to leave more skin than they
had originally planned on to give things room to return to as close to normal as
possible positions in her neck. This resulted in a baggy section of skin under
her jaw-line and meant that a follow-up procedure would be necessary to do
cosmetic touch-up work. So, just out of the gate we were already looking at a
second surgery. Also, all of the fat tissue in her neck had been pushed up into
her cheek or over under her chin by the LM with very little fat tissue in her
neck or jaw line. This too would need additional surgery at a later time to
position it correctly.

Then there were breathing complications. She had to have a temporary trach put in which, incidentally, didn't slow her down at all. In fact, she decided she was done with having a trach several months early at about 3 am on Christmas Eve morning of last year. She pulled it out herself. She did such a very fine job of it that we were not able to put it back in place. So, after being scared out of our wits followed by a 3 am ambulance ride which Jacqui referred to as “allotta fun“, we had the unique joy of spending Christmas Eve day in the hospital. We waited while it was debated whether or not Jacqui needed to have her trach put back in place surgically. After several hours of her bouncing-off-the-wall antics, the hospital staff finally conceded that she
didn’t appear to be in any eminent danger of respiratory distress. I think they
all sighed in relief when the lobby doors closed behind us. Ken later asked
Jacqui why she pulled her trach out. Her reply? “I had things to do.“ What a
nut.

During our stay in New York, Jacqui had another complication. Her drain, a device that was temporarily placed to route fluid away from her incision line, lost suction and she had to go back to surgery to have it repaired. The suture line became stressed from the extra procedures and some stitches prematurely broke loose requiring another surgery to put them back in place. All of this unfortunately made it impossible for the incision to heal in the nice thin line that it would have had it been able to have been left undisturbed.

Every complication was addressed with incredible skill and efficiency. The compassion displayed by the entire surgical team was overwhelming. We really couldn't picture the surgeon's level of concern being any greater for his own child. After all the complications had been addressed and we were getting ready to go, the surgeon did something extraordinary. He told us that whatever needed to be done to get Jacqui to his initial intended goal for her, he was committed to seeing through to the end - at his expense. He told us he wanted to bring us back to New York in a year and fine-tune the unexpected cosmetic issues that had surfaced for her. All on his tab. We were overwhelmed. We told him that we hadn't come to New York for an iron-clad guarantee that nothing would go wrong, but rather because he was the best qualified individual to see to her needs if something did go wrong. He gave us a tired smile. His response although nearly unheard of in medical circles was a commonplace one for him, "Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to get her to where she needs to be - I am committed to getting her there." We thought that as her parents, we were the only people alive possessing that level of commitment to her medical care. How wonderful and unexpected to find that same deep-seated commitment in our child's surgeon!

A brief side note: We have been fortunate to find not just one, but two excellent surgeons. Some of you may remember that we had been told Jacqui would need to have a couple of surgeries to strengthen her trachea. Thanks to her wonderful new ENT in Seattle, those procedures are on hold indefinitely. While assessing the state of her trachea in January, he noticed a tissue flap that was falling over her vocal cords whenever she took a breath. He removed it in a simple lasering procedure, suspecting that it might be heavily contributing to her breathing complications. He was right and her breathing has improved so dramatically that the other corrective surgeries have been put on hold and it appears they may not be necessary at all. He is a very detail oriented person and we are so grateful that he notices what he calls
“little things”. His attention to such “little things” has had a huge and positive impact on Jacqui’s health.

We are hopeful that this November’s surgery in New York will be her last surgery for a very long time. Her surgeon plans for this procedure include the following: Achieving as much symmetry in her face and neck as possible, removing the excess skin left behind in the first surgery, repositioning any necessary adipose tissue, and repairing her LM removal scar and her trach scars. He also plans to assess the percent of nerve function that has returned to the right side of her face compared to her left by measuring electrical potentials of the nerves and comparing them to the left side. This will give us a better idea of how well her nerve function is recovering. This surgery is expected to be about a 5 hour surgery in contrast to the surgery last year which was estimated at about 10 hours.

Our itinerary?

We plan to leave here on Saturday night, November 11th, see her surgeon on Monday November 13th in clinic, see an assortment of other specialists involved in her surgery on the 14th and 15th, have surgery on the 16th, suture removal on the 22nd, fly into Portland late on the 23rd (Thanksgiving Day), and return home Friday morning the 24th. Then the plan is to sleep like zombies until one of the kiddos insists on waking us up (thanks to Jacqui's baby brother, that interval may be painfully brief).

So, here we are one year later. Very soon, we will be boarding another plane to New York because of the care and commitment of a very special surgeon, because of steadfast friends a loving family, and because of the extraordinary kindness of a community. Our airfare, apartment rental and Jacqui's medical expenses all paid before they even accrue. If ever you find yourself doubting God's faithfulness or the significance of prayer, call. We'll talk.

Deepest gratitude for each of you,

Ken and Michelle Propst (and Jacqui and Kyle too!)

P.S. The photo is from Jacqui’s 4-year pictures. We purchased the negatives and rights to copy and transmit the photos from her photo session.

So again, thanks for all the support, dear readers, and please keep up the prayers.

And yes, I've already let the Probsts know that if Jacqui likes younger men, The Lad is available.

What He Said

There's a series of political ads going on here in Oregon for Representative Peter DeFazio. In the ads, he and his supporters tell you that you should vote for his opponent if you want "more of the same in Washington", then goes on to list a litany of woes. He then tells you to vote for him if you want "change in Washington".

The funny thing is, guess who the incumbent who's been in Washington for-freaking-ever is? You guessed it, Pete. His opponent is the challenger, he's the incumbent. So I guess he's going to change htings by doing what he's always done?

But let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and accept his argument that if re-elected, he'll "turn this country around". Is that what we really want? Go read this excellent post by Tony at Blah Blah Blog, and see what "more of the same" looks like. Then ask yourself if you really want to turn this country away from all of that.

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If every one of them loggers looked like Paul Bunyon to you as a skinny kid about sixteen, to where did you ride the train?

Bonus Question:
Why would this blogger post a question about that place?

Update 1:59 PM PST 11/03/06
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, Even if They're Misspelled

A tip of the toque to Hot Air Via Darth Apathy.

I Insulted the Troops before I Didnt Insult the Troops

Rather than go off on Kerry's latest gaffe, I'll just refer you to this excellent essay by Dave E. at Fish Fear Me.

And I'll just quickly remind Kerry that October Surprises are supposed to hurt your enemies.

Damn You, Dissident Frogman!

You couldn't wait until after we've covered Meat Fabrication and Charcuterie at culinary school, could you?

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If they tell you you can't sell no stripers, and there's no luck in swordfishing here, from what part of what U.S. state do you hail?

Musical Geography Question of the Day

If your heart is down, and your head is spinning around, where did you have to leave a little girl?

Harvest Dinner

Now that I've had time to rest, I'd like to share my thoughts on and impressions of the Harvest Dinner and the prep day for it, before they fade.

Monday, we had no classes, and instead all the first year students, from both both the Culinary Arts and Hospitality Management programs, received training on how to serve and bus. By the end of the week, I was sure of one thing -- I'd rather work 16 hours in the back than 4 in the front.

Also on Monday, because The Feared Redhead had a training class all day up in Salem, I had the duty of dropping The Lad off at daycare. That's a job I don't envy TFR. When he cried at my leaving, it pretty much tore my heart out.

Tuesday we had Cooking Theory class in the morning, but our Restaurant Operations class was taken up with more training -- including a game of follow-the-leader around campus carrying serving trays. I made a reference to Supertramp's Breakfast In America album cover, and got a blank stare from a couple of my classmates. That pretty much put me in my place -- and age bracket -- for the week.

Wednesday, no classes or training for my group.

Thursday was prep day, getting all the Mise en Place ready for Friday. I was assigned to the salad station, which was also tasked with developing the vegan options for the dinner. Caprial and John had not specified any, and when asked about it, instructed the school to adapt recipes from Caprial and John's latest cookbooks. The second year students running our station were good about accepting input from us first years, and between all of us we came up with options that fit the theme of the dinner ("Autumn in the Vineyard"), as well as being plausible substitutes for their meat counterparts. I volunteered for the job of doing the conversions, since the recipes were all for 6 servings and we were preparing 24 of each.

So for those who have been wondering, here is the menu for this past Friday's Harvest Dinner:

Appetizer:
Dungeness Crab [Thanks to Sgt. Jeff for the editing] and Parsnip Cakes in Orange Oil
(Vegan) Baked Acorn Squash with Wild Rice Pilaf and Apple Cranberry Chutney
Wine: Griffin Creek Pinot Gris

Soup:
Celeriac Soup

Salad:
Baby Arugula with Rosemary Honey Mustard Vinaigrette
(Vinaigrette made with sugar instead of honey available for Vegans)

Entree:
Roast Tenderloin with Wild Mushrooms in a Veal Demi-Glace accompanied by Caramelized Onions
(Vegan) Marinated Portobello Mushrooms with Pear and Onion Compote
Wine: Lorane Valley Pinot Noir

Dessert:
Mascarpone Cheesecake with Apple Compote
(Vegan): Apple Tartlets with Caramel Sauce
Wine: Sylvan Ridge Early Muscat

We ended the day Thursday with a meeting after cleanup in which our guest celebrity chefs were introduced to us. I was impressed with how gracious and down-to-earth they were. They heard that several students had asked our instructors if we were allowed to speak directly to the guest chefs. They made it clear that yes, they wanted us to talk to them. They also gave us strict orders not to address them as "Chef" -- John's exact wordswere, "I'm john, this is Caprial." They fielded questions from us. My classmate Patty, the "Mom" of our class, asked the best question, I felt, and I appreciated their answer. The question was regarding the philosophy behind the menu they selected. Caprial explained that the menu was selected with an eye for what ingredients are available locally this time of year, so that they are seasonal. The Pences are very strongly influenced by the Slow Food Movement. They also explained that for large events such as this, they believe in simple, elegant dishes wthout a lot of complex components. They shared a story about a dinner for Julia Child in which they participated, and how they were able to spend time mingling with other chefs while some of the participants were stuck in the kitchen for many more hours because of the complexity of the dishes they chose to prepare. I agree with them in this regard, and besides, Caprial is a James Beard Award recipient, so it's safe o say she knows what she's talking about.

The most touching moment of the day came as we were leaving. I have a classmate who has missed quite a few classes because his three-year-old daughter has a malignant tumor in jer jaw muscle. We were passing around a card for them, and Caprial and John were happy to sign it for us. altogether very warm, personable people, and John has a quirky sense of humor much like my own.

Friday was hectic all day. It started when I woke up remembering I had homework due for my 10 AM "Human Relations in the Workplace" class. Ugh. Not only is this class almost universally viewed as a waste of time in terms of what we're getting out of it, it has more take-home work than any other class we're taking. But I got it done and got to school with time to print it out at the library and still get to class.

After class ended at 1, I went directly to the Center for Meeting and Learning and got changed into my Black & Whites, then waited around until the auditorium was ready for us to start setup, around 2 or so. Then we met with our section captains (all second year Hospitality students) and received our table assignments, where I learned that I would be serving the president of the college. Apparently, I wasn't already nervous enough.

We began seating at 6 and serving at 6:30. The evening went well. Between the cost of dinner itself, the silent auction held in the lobby and the oral auction during dinner, we raised around $200,000 for the College Foundation, which will mostly go to scholarships. At the end of the night they had all of us students come to the front and we received a standing ovation. It choked me up, to be honest, knowing how generous all these people were being, and knowing that my efforts helped raise money to pay the tuitions of people I pass on campus every day.

We were done cleaning up by around 10 or 10:15. I must say, the students who worked as stewards rawked. Their efficiency clearing trays as we bussed made things run incredibly smoothly. I can't tell you how much I appreciated them.

I got dropped off at home around 10:30 or so. TFR had a nice bourbon and Coke waiting for me, and I took a long, hot bath, then went to bed for what I expected to be a good night's rest. No such luck. The Lad has a cold, so I was up with him at midnight, again at 2 and then fro 2:30 to 2:45, at 4:15, at 6:30, and finally when he was up for good at 8. It was a challenge keeping my eyes open all day yesterday while I cared for him, so I was grateful that TFR took over last night -- of course, he slept most of the night, only waking once.

Watch This Spa.......zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Harvest Dinner was very eventful, and I have a lot to say about it, but The Lad is sick, and adter getting home at around 11 last night, I was up with him at midnight, again from 2:15 to 2:45, again at 4 AM, and yet one more time at 6:30. I'm too exhausted to articulate everything I have to say about this week. I'll be back sometime later this weekend.

Halfway There

This week is by all accounts one of the hardest and busiest weeks of the academic year for the Culinary Arts program -- it's the week of the Harvest Dinner, the biggest fundraiser of the year for the entire college. A guest chef is invited, and the culinary students prepare a meal for around 400 guests who each pay $100 to attend, using a menu created by the guest chef. Today was prep day -- all culinary students helped prep the Mise en Place. Tomorrow the Second Years will be doing the cooking, while we First Years, along with the Hospitality Management students, will be the serving staff.

I spent the day helping prep for the salad - Arugula with a honey, mutard and rosemary vinaigrette. We were also responsible for coming up with optional vegan dishes based on recipes in the latest cookbook from our guest chefs, Capriak and John Pence (Not John and Caprial, Caprial and John -- that was very specifically communicated to us). To replace the first course of crab cakes, we decided on baked acorn squash stuffed with wild rice pilaf and apple cranberry chutney. The tenderloin entree was replaced (WHY?) with a marinated portobello mushroom with apple and onion consomme. And finally, instead of an apple mascarpone cheesecake, the vegan dessert is an apple and phyllo dough tartlet.

All in all a pretty long, demanding day. But I'd still repeat it a dozen times over rather than face tomorrow and the front of the house.